Absurdity Quotes

Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. -George W. Bush
I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees. - George W. Bush
While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.- Unknown.

I want to be reincarnated as your tampon. - Prince Charles

You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support. - Unknown

Capital punishment is our societies recognition of the sanctity of human life. - Orrin Hatch

Don't be humble. You're not that great. - Golda Meir

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by resorting to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. - H. L. Mencken

I think that the undecideds could go one way or the other. - George Bush

We may be finding that in some blacks, when the choke hold is applied, the veins or arteries do not open up like in normal people. - Daryl Gates

I'm not against the blacks, and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. - Evan Mecham
Honest businessmen should be protected from the unscrupulous consumer.- Lester Maddox
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Mayor Marion Barry

I did what any normal person would do at that age. You call home. You call home to mother and father and say, "I'd like to get into the National Guard." - Dan Quayle
Casual drug users should be taken out and shot. - Daryl Gates

I didn't inhale. - Bill Clinton

Who ever heard of Casablanca? I don't want to star opposite some unknown Swedish broad.- - George Raft

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

Ward, come upstairs and talk to The Beaver.- June (Mrs. Frisky) Cleaver

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change. - Vice-President Dan Quayle

I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue. - Richard Nixon
A woman, occasionally, is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. - Karl Kraus

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. - Jackie Mason

Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat? - Marilyn Monroe
My work is done, why wait? - Unknown

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

I love California. I grew up in Phoenix. - Dan Quayle

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. - Lenny Bruce

Bite the wax tadpole. - Unknown

Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. - Ad slogan "Pepsi comes alive" as initially translated into Chinese.

If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war. - Senior Pentagon official

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist- Unknown

Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway. - Othal Brand

I have no weakness for shoes. I wear very simple shoes which are pump shoes. It is not one of my weaknesses. - Imelda Marcos

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years, with time off for good behavior? - New York Senator James H. Donovan

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. - General William