Alcohol Quotes

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. -Raymond Chandler

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. -Lady Astor

When the wine is in, the wit is out. -Proverb

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink. -Lord Chesterton

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -George Burns

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me. -Brendan Behan


Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. -Jean Kerr


We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. -Horace Hutchinson

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. -Author Unknown


If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine. -Author Unknown


They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. -Scottish Proverb


Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune. -Giuseppe Garibaldi


A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. -W.C. Fields


I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -Frank Sinatra

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -Dave Barry


Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. -Robert Benchley


I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. -Oscar Levant


Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems. -Homer Simpson


I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver. -Phil Harris


I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. -Don Marquis


Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. -Robert Heinlein


I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. --Noel Coward


I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. -Brendan Behan


Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. -Knute Rockne


Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker. -Ogden Nash


Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion.- Unknown



Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.-George Carlin


Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend. -Gerard Way


Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. -Frank Sinatra


Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life.- Unknown


Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. -Phyllis Diller


Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly. -Rita Rudner


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -Winston Churchill


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Henny Youngman


I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -Winston Churchill


How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? -Author Unknown