Curmudgeon Quotes

There are people who have an appetite for grief; pleasure is not strong enough and they crave pain. They have mithridatic stomachs which must be fed on poisoned bread, natures so doomed that no prosperity can sooth their ragged and dishevelled desolation.—Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.—Edgar A. Shoaff

 

It is not a fragrant world.—Raymond Chandler

 

I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end.—Fred Couples

 

I love mankind - it's people I can't stand.—Charles M. Schulz

 

[I] put the question directly to myself: "Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?" And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, "No!"—John Stuart Mill

 

When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.—William Shakespeare

 

Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness,
Some boundless contiguity of shade,
Where rumour of oppression and deceit,
Of unsuccessful or successful war,
Might never reach me more.—William Cowper

 

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.—Author Unknown

 

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.—Fran Lebowitz

 

Life is one long process of getting tired.—Samuel Butler

 

A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.—Oscar Wilde

 

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.—Jonathan Swift

 

When you face the sun, all the shadows fall behind you.—Helen Keller

 

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.—Mark Twain

 

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved?—Mark Twain

 

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.—George Bernard Shaw

 

Nothing is more miserable than man,
Of all upon the earth that breathes and creeps.—Homer, Iliad

 

Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew.—William Shakespeare, Hamlet

 

I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began.—William Hazlitt

 

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.—G.K. Chesterton

 

I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.—W. Somerset Maugham

 

Not to be born at all would be the best thing for man, never to behold the sun's scorching rays; but if one is born, then one is to press as quickly as possible to the portals of Hades, and rest there under the earth.—Thiognis

 

We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs.—Kenneth Clark

 

Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious.—Edgar Saltus

 

Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse.—Bill Press

 

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee / And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.—Robert Frost

 

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.—Voltaire

 

He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind.—Willa Cather

 

We semaphore from ship to ship, but they're sinking, too.—Mignon McLaughlin

 

Nothing begins, and nothing ends, that is not paid with moan; for we are born in other's pain, and perish in our own.—Francis Thompson

 

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.—Author Unknown

 

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and wish your parents had never met.—Bill Fitch

 

We are adhering to life now with our last muscle - the heart.—Djuna Barnes

 

The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness.—Martin Esslin

 

I see it all perfectly: there are two possibilities, one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it, you will regret both.—Kierkegaard

 

Comfort, or revelation: God owes us one of these, but surely not both.—Mignon McLaughlin

 

Janie's a pretty typical teenager - angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her.—Alan Ball

 

I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.—Fred Allen

 

You're obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That's the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world.—Octave Mirbeau

 

Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old Age a regret.—Benjamin Disraeli

 

It must be admitted that there are some parts of the soul which we must entirely paralyze before we can live happily in this world.—Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort

 

He seems
To have seen better days, as who has not
Who has seen yesterday?—George Gordon

 

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.—David T. Wolf

 

That I could clamber to the frozen moon
And draw the ladder after me.—Author Unknown

 

Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part, and does not believe in the play.—Mignon McLaughlin

 

The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial.—Alban Goodier

 

All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty.—Logan Pearsall Smith

 

I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses.—William Makepeace Thackeray

 

Man is the cruelest animal. At tragedies, bullfights, and crucifixions he has so far felt best on earth; and when he invented hell for himself, behold, that was his very heaven.—Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.—Horace Walpole

 

Medvedénko: "Why do you always wear black?"
Masha: "I am in mourning for my life."—Anton Chekhov

 

There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.—Maya Angelou

 

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.—Peter McArthur

 

How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will.—Albert Einstein

 

Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.—James Thurber

 

This world is gradually becoming a place
Where I do not care to be any more.—John Berryman

 

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.—Charles de Gaulle

 

You have come into a hard world. I know of only one easy place in it, and that is the grave.—Henry Ward Beecher

 

It's just life... wake up and smell the thorns.—Unknown

 

I am too tired to fight, but too stubborn to conform to the ways of this fucked up world. I give up.—Author Unknown

 

All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy.—Robert Burton

 

I had a lover's quarrel with the world.—Robert Frost

 

Its almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.—Robert Lynd

 

In October 1929 it was discovered that the 'Salem Trade School' which has fielded a football team for six years and collected receipts for its games, does not exist; the team is merely a group of players who share profits and are always in demand because they invariably lose.—from The Great American Sports Book

 

If to look truth in the face and not resent it when it's unpalatable, and take human nature as you find it . . . is to be cynical, then I suppose I'm a cynic.—Somerset Maugham

 

What I give form to in daylight is only one per cent of what I have seen in darkness.—M.C. Escher

 

Nature loves a burst of energy .—Boe Lightman

 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I..... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.—Robert Frost

 

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.—Yogi Berra

 

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing .—Theodore Roosevelt

 

Dawn. When men of reason go to bed .—Ambrose Bierce

 

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.—Orson Welles

 

As for me, I am rather often uneasy in my mind, because I think that my life has not been calm enough; all those bitter disappointments, adversities, changes keep me from developing fully and naturally in my artistic career.—Vincent Van Gogh

 

The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr .--Muhammad

 

Literature flourishes best when it is half a trade and half an art.—William Inge

 

I was a stricken deer that left the herd long since.—William Cowper

 

For busy, battered bureaucrat though I be, I am a staunch believer in the leisure of the theory class.—Adlai Stevenson

 

Leisure is the mother of philosophy.—Thomas Hobbes

 

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. - Edgar A. Shoaff

 

It is not a fragrant world. - Raymond Chandler

 

I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end. - Fred Couples

 

I love mankind - it's people I can't stand. - Charles M. Schulz

 

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit. - Author Unknown

 

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. - Fran Lebowitz

 

A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde

 

I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them. - W. Somerset Maugham

 

[I] put the question directly to myself: "Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?" And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, "No!" - John Stuart Mill

 

When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools. - William Shakespeare, King Lear

 

Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness,
Some boundless contiguity of shade,
Where rumour of oppression and deceit,
Of unsuccessful or successful war,
Might never reach me more.
- William Cowper

 

Life is one long process of getting tired. - Samuel Butler

 

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own. - Jonathan Swift

 

Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. - Mark Twain

 

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved? - Mark Twain

 

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. - George Bernard Shaw

 

Nothing is more miserable than man,
Of all upon the earth that breathes and creeps.
- Homer, Iliad

 

Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. - William Shakespeare, Hamlet

 

I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began. - William Hazlitt

 

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. - G.K. Chesterton

 

Not to be born at all would be the best thing for man, never to behold the sun's scorching rays; but if one is born, then one is to press as quickly as possible to the portals of Hades, and rest there under the earth. - Thiognis

 

We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. - Kenneth Clark

 

Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious. - Edgar Saltus

 

Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse. - Bill Press

 

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. - Voltaire

 

He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind. - Willa Cather

 

We semaphore from ship to ship, but they're sinking, too. - Mignon McLaughlin

 

Nothing begins, and nothing ends, that is not paid with moan; for we are born in other's pain, and perish in our own. - Francis Thompson

 

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. - Ernest Hemingway

 

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and wish your parents had never met. - Bill Fitch

 

We are adhering to life now with our last muscle - the heart. - Djuna Barnes

 

The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness. - Martin Esslin

 

The army of wrongness rampant in the world might as well march over me. - Truman Capote

 

I see it all perfectly: there are two possibilities, one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it, you will regret both. - Kierkegaard

 
Last modified 09-Sep-2011 2:10 PM