Golf Quotes

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. - John Updike

 

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - Henry Louis Mencken

 

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

 

There is no such thing as a natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. - Lee Trevino

 

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. - H. G. Wells

 

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

 

I'm not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

 

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. - Will Rogers

 

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible. - Jean Giraudoux

 

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

 

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.- Lee Trevino

 

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.- George Brett

 

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. - Jim Murray

 

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.- Mickey Mantle

 

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them. - Kevin Costner

 

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

 

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie f or a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

 

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. - Brian Weis

 

Swing hard in case you hit it. - Dan Marino

 

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. - Lord Robertson Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

 

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. - Lee Trevino

 

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.- Ben Hogan

 

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best - Jack Nicklaus

 

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. - H G Wells

 

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. - Bob Hope

 

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. - Henny Youngman

 

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

 

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. - Lee Trevino

 

Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.-Tiger Woods

 

And I don't cook, either. Not as long as they still deliver pizza.-Tiger Woods

 

As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.-Tiger Woods

 

Don't force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him. It's the child's desire to play that matters, not the parent's desire to have the child play. Fun. Keep it fun.-Tiger Woods

 

For many my behavior has been a major disappointment, my behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners, and everyone involved in my business, but most importantly to the young people we influence, I apologize.-Tiger Woods

 

Green and black go well together, don't they?-Tiger Woods

 

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.-Tiger Woods

 

I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course.-Tiger Woods

 

I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be.-Tiger Woods

 

I don't get to live by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me.-Tiger Woods

 

I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.-Tiger Woods

 

I love to play golf, and that's my arena. And you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys.-Tiger Woods

 

I stopped living according to my core values. I knew what I was doing was wrong but thought only about myself and thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to.-Tiger Woods

 

I want to be what I've always wanted to be: dominant.-Tiger Woods

 

I'm addicted. I'm addicted to golf.-Tiger Woods

 

I'm aware if I'm playing at my best I'm tough to beat. And I enjoy that.-Tiger Woods

 

I'm not as far along as Jack Nicklaus was at this age, but I'm trying.-Tiger Woods

 

If money titles meant anything, I'd play more tournaments. The only thing that means a lot to me is winning. If I have more wins than anybody else and win more majors than anybody else in the same year, then it's been a good year.-Tiger Woods

 

If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about.-Tiger Woods

 

In therapy I have learned the importance of keeping spiritual life and professional life balanced. I need to regain my balance.-Tiger Woods