Housework Quotes

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. – Ruby Lou Barnhill

 

A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

A man’s home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. – Lucille Kallen

 

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

 

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. – Anonymous

 

At my house, “Dust” is a noun, not a verb. - Anonymous

 

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. – Rose Macaulay

 

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

 

Creative clutter is better than idle neatness. - Anonymous

 

Dull women have immaculate homes. – Anonymous

 

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture. – Mario Buatta

 

Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day. – Simone de Beauvoir

 

For a woman to get a rewarding sense of total creation by way of the multiple monotonous chores that are her daily lot would be as irrational as for an assembly line worker to rejoice that he had created an automobile because he tightened a bolt. – Edit Mendel Stern

 

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Anonymous

 

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom. – Mark Twain

 

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? – Katherine Whitehorn

 

Housekeeping ain’t no joke. – Louisa May Alcott

 

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? – Phyllis Diller

 

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. – Marcelene Cox

 

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. – Erma Bombeck

 

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. – Erma Bombeck

 

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn’t done it. – Evan Esar

 

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. – Ann Oakley

 

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

 

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. - Nancie J. Carmody

 

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. – Phyllis Diller

 

I can’t clean house and save the world at the same time. - Anonymous

 

I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It's amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor. - D.H. Lawrence

 

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

 

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. But you have to be efficient if you’re going to be lazy. – Shirley Conran

 

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work. I just get out of bed in the morning, and there it is – all around me. - Anonymous

 

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

 

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. – Roseanne Barr

 

I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. – Shirley Conran

 

I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on. - Anonymous

 

If you are a writer, you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space. – Joyce Carol Oates

 

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Anonymous

 

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies.” – Phyllis Diller

 

I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know. – Phyllis Diller

 

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

 

Man is made for something better than disturbing dirt. – Oscar Wilde

 

Marrying is easy – it’s housework that’s hard. - Proverb

 

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. – Dottie Archibald

 

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Anonymous

 

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. - Bette Midler

 

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

 

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? – Erma Bombeck

 

Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I. - Anne Gibbons

 

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. – Beverly Jones

 

Old houses mended,
Cost little less than new before they're ended. - Colley Cibber

 

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. – A.A. Milne

 

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. G.M. Weilacher

 

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing’s as eternal as the dishes. – Margaret Mahy

 

Perhaps all artists were, in a sense, housewives: tenders of the earth household. – Erica Jong

 

Said the daughter: “I don’t have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how.” - Anonymous

 

The average man has a carefully cultivated ignorance about household matters – from what to do with the crumbs to the grocer’s telephone number – a sort of cheerful inefficiency which protects him. – Crystal Eastman

 

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes. - Agatha Christie

 

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

 

The important thing about women today is, as they get older, they still keep house. It’s one reason why they don’t die, but men die when they retire. Women just polish the teacups. – Margaret Mead

 

The labor of keeping house is labor in its most naked state, for labor is toil that never finishes, toil that has to be begun again the moment it is completed, toil that is destroyed and consumed by the life process. – Mary McCarthy

 

The labor of women in the house, certainly, enables men to produce more wealth than they otherwise could; and in this way women are economic factors in society. But so are horses. – Charlotte P. Gillman

 

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. - Dave Barry

 

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean. - Erma Bombeck

 

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn’t. – Penny Kome

 

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. – Lady Hasluck

 

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

 

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

 

They shared the chores of living as some couples do – she did most of the work and he appreciated it. – Paula Gosling

 

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

 

Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn. - Chuck Clark

 

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

 

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. - Rudyard Kipling

 

You wonder if I have it. I wonder where it is. Everybody wonders how I find it. - Anonymous

 
Last modified 04-Sep-2011 2:14 AM